When I first moved to Australia, I carried with me not just my suitcase, but the dreams of a better life—for myself, and especially for my children. Becoming a mum in a country that wasn’t my own brought joy, hope, and pride. But it also came with challenges that no one really prepared me for.
If you’re a migrant mum too, maybe this will feel familiar.
The Invisible Load We Carry
Raising children is never easy—but doing it far from family, culture, language, and your familiar support systems can feel incredibly isolating. There’s no one to drop in and help when the baby’s crying and you haven’t showered. No auntie or cousin to lean on. The parenting books often don’t speak to our cultural values or the guilt we feel for doing things differently than our own mothers did.
You might carry guilt for not being “enough” or for not being able to give your children the same childhood you had—or hoped they’d have. You might feel caught between two worlds: wanting to embrace life in Australia while holding onto the traditions and language of your homeland.
There’s also the unspoken grief. Grief for the life you left behind. Grief for the grandparents your children don’t get to see often. Grief for the version of you that sometimes feels lost in motherhood and migration.
You’re Not Alone—And You’re Not Failing
I say this not just as a counsellor, but as a migrant mum myself: you are doing your best with what you have, and that is more than enough. I know what it’s like to wipe tears (your own and your children’s), to smile when you feel like crying, and to keep going even when it feels like no one sees the emotional weight you’re carrying.
Motherhood is already a full-time job. Doing it in a new country, often in a new language, with different customs and little to no support—that’s nothing short of heroic.
Why Looking After Your Mental Health Matters
We often tell ourselves, “I’ll rest later,” or “As long as the kids are okay, I’m okay.” But the truth is, your wellbeing is the foundation of your family’s wellbeing.
Taking care of your mental health isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When you are calm, centred, and supported, your children benefit too. They learn emotional resilience from watching how you care for yourself. You are their first emotional teacher.
Mental health challenges like anxiety, stress, and postnatal depression are common—and often overlooked in migrant women. We’ve been raised to be strong, but sometimes strength also means reaching out and saying, “I need help too.”
Simple Strategies to Nurture Your Wellbeing
You don’t need hours in the day to care for your mental health. Here are some small but powerful ways to start:
🌿 Take mindful moments – Even five minutes of quiet, with a cup of tea or a few deep breaths, can give your nervous system a break.
📖 Journal your thoughts – Write freely without judgment. This can help release built-up emotions.
🧡 Stay connected – Find other mums, join a multicultural playgroup, or connect with community centres. You are not alone.
👣 Move your body – A short walk with the pram, dancing in the kitchen, or gentle stretches at home can do wonders.
📞 Talk to a counsellor – Speaking with a mental health professional can help you make sense of what you’re feeling and provide support tailored to you. It’s a brave and loving act—for you and your family.
You Deserve Support Too
There’s a quiet kind of courage in doing what we migrant mums do every day. But please remember: you don’t have to do it all on your own. You’re allowed to be vulnerable. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to ask for help.
As a counsellor who supports migrant women and mothers, and as a woman who’s walked this path, I see you. And I’m here for you.
You are not failing—you are adapting. You are growing. You are doing the best you can in unfamiliar soil. And even if it doesn’t always feel like it, you are blooming.
Warmly,
Jesica Lule
Mum, Migrant, and Counsellor Supporting Women’s Mental Health in Australia
Jesica Lule Counselling | Brisbane & Online